Baltimora - Tarzan Boy (video)

Oh a oh a oh a oh where to begin. In what was one of the catchier one-hit wonders of the 80s, by this one man outfit (although which one man is in doubt)*

Tarzan Boy as a song is utter fluffy pop. It has survived as a touchstone of the period not in spite of, but apparently because of its disposability. The video on the other hand, should never have been made, unless its intent was to feed the adjective-laden ramblings of people like myself when we revisit this optic offal.

It is horrid. It is basically the worst gay karaoke bar fantasy gone wrong. With effects that induce immediate nausea, and frontman Jimmy McShane in what can only be described as Salvation Army meets Tarzan couture, with added makeup debacle courtesy of some 3rd grader handed facepaint and held up to McShane's face.

Whoever choreographed this paramilitary assault on the eyes had to have been taking some potent Sterno and LSD cocktails while watching old Tarzan movies. He should be hunted down and beaten to within a foot past his life.



* There are conflicting stories about who was Baltimora. The songs were written by a Mauricio Bassi, but some credits him also with singing and Jimmy McShane with just being a precursor to Milli Vanilli, others that McShane did in fact do the singing. Well, McShane has been dead since the mid-1990s and Bassi isn't talking.